💰The Money Talk That Predicts Divorce Better Than Cheating

Hey {{first_name}} , can we be real honest with each other for a sec?

Last week I posted a TikTok about something that’s been on my mind for awhile, and based on the comments blowing up my phone, I know I’m not alone.

See when I graduated high school and started college, I was dating someone who was TERRIBLE with money.

I’m talking, his parents gave him their credit card, paid for his rent, his vehicle and basically any other expense he had, and told him it was fine if we went dutch on every date.

If you’re not from Lancaster County, PA like I am, this means we split the bill.

Even though his split wasn’t actually his money, it was his mom’s.

After two years, I’d had enough.

And while I didn’t know at the time I’d end up marrying a wonderful guy who sees money the same way I do, I absolutely knew at 20 that I was NOT going to be supporting a mama’s boy who saw money only as something someone else gave him for the rest of my adult life.

When it comes to building wealth and living a life where you're not secretly bitter about every financial decision, having a partner who shares your money mindset isn't just nice to have.

It's everything.

I'm not talking about marrying rich.

I'm talking about being with someone who gets it.

When you’re young, or newly in love, you become blind to what really matters long-term.

According to research from Kansas State University, arguments about money are the leading predictor of divorce.

Not cheating. Not in-laws.

Money.

And it makes sense when you think about it.

Money touches literally everything in your life.

Where you live, how you vacation, whether you can quit that job you hate, if you'll retire at 55 or 75, whether you stress about the electric bill or sleep peacefully at night.

When you and your partner aren't aligned on money, you're basically rowing a boat in opposite directions.

One person is trying to save for a house while the other is financing a new car.

One person wants to invest for early retirement while the other thinks investing is "too risky" and keeps everything in a savings account earning basically nothing.

It's exhausting.

And over time, that exhaustion turns into resentment.

Being money aligned doesn't mean you both need to make the same salary. It doesn't even mean you need to have the same spending habits.

It means you share the same core beliefs about money and where you want it to take you.

These aren't small differences.

These are life-altering, dream-crushing, anger-building differences.

Let me paint you a picture. And it’s one 20-year old me envisioned as I stomped my way to my ex-boyfriend’s apartment to tell him he needed to grow up and it wouldn’t be with me!

You're diligently investing 20% of your income.

You pack your lunch. You skip the girls' trips sometimes.

You're building your portfolio, watching it grow, feeling proud of your discipline.

Meanwhile, your partner is spending every dime of their paycheck on Amazon, or financing that new Tesla — racking up credit card debt, and wondering why you're "so stressed about money all the time."

Fast forward five years.

You've built a solid investment portfolio.

They have $0 saved, a bunch of stuff they don't use, and an upside down car loan.

Now you want to buy a house, but their credit is terrible and they have no down payment to contribute.

Or you want to take a year off to start a business, but you're the only one with any financial cushion.

Or maybe they get laid off and suddenly their emergency is your emergency because they never built their own safety net.

The emotion you’re feeling?

That’s resentment.

It builds slowly, like compound interest in reverse.

And unlike money, you can't just invest your way out of it.

Here's the thing that makes this even more important for women: we're already fighting uphill battles with money.

We still make less on average than men.

We take career breaks for children more often.

We live longer, which means we need more saved for retirement.

We're more likely to end up as single parents.

And according to a 2024 study by the National Institute on Retirement Security, 50% of women ages 55-66 have no personal retirement savings.

So when we partner with someone who doesn't take money seriously, who doesn't invest, who doesn't plan ahead…

We're not just taking on their bad habits. We're potentially sacrificing our own financial security.

And let's be honest: society still expects women to be the "flexible" ones.

To sacrifice our careers when someone needs to stay home with the kids.

To move for our partner's job opportunity.

To be understanding when money is tight.

But understanding doesn't pay for retirement. Flexibility doesn't build wealth.

Before you get serious with someone, before you move in together, definitely before you get married, you need to have an honest talk about money.

Ask the hard questions:

Watch how they react.

Do they get defensive? Do they think you're being "too serious" or "unromantic"?

Or do they appreciate that you're thinking ahead?

Someone who's truly aligned with you will be open to have this conversation.

Because they've been thinking about the same things.

I know what some people are thinking:

"This sounds so materialistic. What about love?"

But here's the hard truth:

Loving someone doesn't mean you should ignore massive incompatibilities that will make you both miserable.

And honestly, if wanting a partner who takes their financial future seriously makes me materialistic, then I guess I'm materialistic.

But to me it’s being realistic.

Because love doesn't keep you from being broke at 65.

Love doesn't prevent resentment when you've sacrificed your financial dreams because your partner couldn't get on board.

Love doesn't pay for the retirement you'll spend alone because you outlived your partner by 10 years with no savings.

Having a partner who shares your money mindset isn't about finding someone rich. It's about finding someone who shares your values around building security, making smart decisions, and working toward freedom.

It's about being able to dream together without one person constantly dragging you down.

It's about both of you rowing in the same direction, toward a future the two of you actually want.

Because here's the tough love:

You can build wealth on a modest income if you're both committed. But you can't build wealth if you're constantly fighting about whether building wealth even matters.

Money aligned beats rich every single time.

Have the conversation. Ask the hard questions.

And if you find out you're not aligned? Better to know now than in five years when you're drowning in resentment, shared debt and overpriced attorney fees.

You deserve a partner who's building with you, not holding you back.

Trust me on this one.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Have you had the money talk with your partner? Hit ‘Reply’ and let me know if this resonates. No judgment, no shame.

Your friend,

Charlie | Your Wealth Hype Girl

📌P.S. If you are in a hole because of a past relationship, I’ve got something coming up to help you get out! My live group investing cohort is starting soon and I’d love to see you in there. Inside you’ll join a community of people learning how to invest, how optimize their accounts for maximum wealth building potential, and cheering each other on along the way. You’ll also get live weekly calls with me to ask questions and get additional support.

I only run these a few times a year, so don’t miss your chance to get started turning the ship around sooner rather than later.

This article provides educational information about investment strategies, not personalized financial advice. Consult with qualified financial professionals before making investment decisions. Charlie Dice and OJD LLC are not responsible for any investment gains or losses as a result of following advice given here.